by Dr. Shlomie Zimmerman

Making a focused practice of self-acceptance and compassion is critical. Take a few minutes a few times a day and try to embrace yourself as you are. Appreciate your “being” and accept your challenges as Hashem’s custom designed program for your development. Take time to embrace and compassionately accept your challenges and focus on the positives.

Self-acceptance is not designed for when you are feeling and doing everything perfectly. On the contrary, it is crucial for when your own psyche is telling you that you are unworthy or unacceptable. It is most important to be self-accepting precisely when your psyche says “but this is unacceptable.”

For many people, self-acceptance and tapping into their innate chashivus is itself a monumental struggle. Try to at least “be ok not being ok,” and if you can feel great as you are, even better, as that’s truly the way Hashem wants us to feel. Struggles, including being able to accept oneself, are ongoing and will have ups and downs. We even need to accept that at times we will not be self-accepting. This is all part of the human struggle.

The yetzer hara wants to dress up as the yetzer tov and tell you to not accept yourself so that you will work harder and “become something.” But that is his most dangerous ploy. It is crucial, any time you are struggling with a message that your being/person is flawed or unacceptable, to realize that it is the yetzer hara talking. Fight it, or even better, learn to disengage from it and ignore it.