My Experience With a Loyalty Test

Hey everyone! I'm 35 years old, from New York, and I love writing. Today, I want to share what happened when I decided to loyalty test my boyfriend.

Would he cheat, or wouldn't he? Should I test him, or should I let it go? These were the thoughts racing through my head when I came across Loyalty-Test.com in an article in the New York Times. As I read the piece, I found myself completely shocked. Men and women were hiring people to secretly check their partner’s loyalty through social media, sometimes even setting up face-to-face interactions. The testers would then provide screenshots or photos as proof. Boom. Caught.

Did I really believe my boyfriend would flirt or cheat? And even if he did, did I truly want to trap him? I felt conflicted, part of me thinking it was deceptive, but another part desperately needed answers. Doing this meant crossing a point of no return. Was I someone willing to trap her boyfriend to uncover possible betrayal? My boyfriend, we'll call him Alex, had been acting strangely lately. At night, as we watched TV together, he'd always be busy on his phone. Whenever I asked him about it, he'd insist he was just playing a game. Playing a game? That was unusual. On top of that, whenever I walked into the room while he was working on his computer, he'd immediately minimize his screen. Suspicious behavior, indeed.

After a few days of internal debate, weighing the morality and justifying my suspicions about all the secrecy and constant texting, I decided to do it. I signed up to loyalty test him.

Once I'd made my decision, the process was straightforward. After signing up, I selected a tester to interact with my boyfriend. Choosing someone I knew matched Alex's type made me feel better because the results would be believable. Imagine if the tester wasn't his type, and he showed no interest; that wouldn’t tell me anything. This way, I felt confident I'd get genuine results.

I then selected a testing package, opting for social media messaging, as it seemed direct and easy to verify. He'd either pass or fail, and I'd have screenshots for proof. After choosing the package, I shared Alex's social media details with my tester. I could have given her specific instructions, but I thought simple flirting would be enough.

Even though I was prepared, I wasn't quite ready for what happened next.

Sadly, my boyfriend failed-and quickly. The tester messaged him on Instagram to initiate contact. Her first message was casual and innocent. As soon as she told me her plan, I knew he'd reply. He loves dogs and proudly displays them all over his social media, instead of me. All she wrote was, "Hey there, your dog is so cute!" He responded within hours, exactly as I predicted. His message ended with heart emojis, though,definitely not ideal. Initially, their exchange seemed innocent, apart from those heart emojis. They chatted about dogs for a bit, but then he asked for her Snapchat. Snapchat? I didn't even realize Alex had Snapchat. Secrets were emerging quickly. On Snapchat, he escalated things by suggesting they meet up for reasons clearly beyond casual chatting (I'll spare you the details).

That was enough for me. The tester provided screenshots, blocked Alex, and reported back immediately. He failed. Did I win, though? Honestly, I wasn’t sure. Now, I faced confronting him and possibly ending our relationship.

I braced myself emotionally for the upcoming confrontation. Before talking to Alex, I confided in a close friend. She noted there hadn't been physical cheating—just emotional infidelity. She asked me if I viewed emotional betrayal as equal to actual cheating. Wasn't it similar enough? He didn’t just chat; he arranged to meet. Clearly, it wasn't going to be innocent dog advice.

When I finally confronted Alex with the evidence, his reaction was predictably defensive. Someone once told me only guilty people get defensive. He accused me of invading his privacy, as though I were the villain. And though I did feel some guilt, I'd decided the means were justified.

There was yelling, tears, promises, and pleading. Ultimately, I realized I couldn’t trust him anymore, and he wouldn’t trust me either. Would he always worry about future DMs being tests? Or would he simply create a secret account? Already, my mind was spiraling with distrust. No good would come from staying together.

We’re currently separating. Thankfully, no kids, just dogs to negotiate custody (joint custody, thankfully). Honestly, the hardest part has been the dogs. Although I'm saddened my suspicions were right, the loyalty test gave me clarity. I no longer worry about what he's hiding.

Sometimes, I still feel terrible. I question myself, wondering how we reached this point. Deceiving someone feels awful, especially a partner, even if it's the only path to uncover the truth.

Some of you may think setting traps is unfair, an invasion of privacy. If you feel that way, I advise against doing it. For me, knowing was better than endless doubt.

Someone once asked me if I’d tell him if he passed. Absolutely not! He'd never understand. I'd gladly pay the fee and consider it worth the peace of mind. Instead, I faced reality head-on.

I'm not here to tell you what’s right. For me, it was crucial to confirm my suspicions. If you’re feeling similarly, I recommend it. Consider carefully whether you're prepared for the results, no matter what they are.

If you decide to test your boyfriend, Ari from Brooklyn was wonderful—responsive and kind. She specializes in Instagram loyalty tests and provides clear evidence.

29 • Brooklyn, NY

Part-Time Tester

Instagram DM Specialist

Frequently Asked Questions

A loyalty test involves hiring a professional tester to contact your partner via social media, seeing if they respond to flirtation. The tester keeps you updated throughout the process.

Prices vary. Simple social media tests start at $10, while comprehensive tests can reach $300.

This is a debated topic. Some feel it breaches trust, while others believe it's the only way to confirm loyalty. It's vital to communicate openly and weigh your options before proceeding.

If your boyfriend doesn't engage and blocks the tester, congratulations—he’s loyal! This outcome provides reassurance and strengthens your relationship. It's your choice to disclose the test.

If your boyfriend engages or plans to meet, the tester will send proof immediately. Although painful, it offers clarity and helps you make informed decisions.