Calling someone you've never spoken to before can sometimes feel nerve-wracking. But it can also be really rewarding! You might be surprised at how much you enjoy yourself. Below are some pointers on how to start the conversation and how to get to know the person you're calling.
Bear in mind who you'll be calling:
Likely to be an older adult šµ Although we do not have any age restrictions on who we help here at onHand (we're happy to help anyone who needs a hand or an ear to listen) the majority of individuals looking for a friendly phone call are older adults, with an average age of 65.
From near or far š¬š§ The person you're calling could well be someone living on the next street over, or they could be from the other side of the UK! You'll encounter all different types of accents and stories from their local areas.
Possibly hard of hearing 𦻠Due to the demographic of people looking for a call, they may be hard of hearing. If this is not mentioned on the person's request, it will become apparent very quickly! So remember to speak loudly and clearly if this is the case!
May be forgetfulā They may need their memory jogging a little with a reminder about who onHand are, but they still may not always remember! Especially if their request for help has been on the app for a little while (but more on that in a secondš)
Conversation:
Every conversation is different. Don't worry or be put off if the person you're speaking to takes a little while to warm up!
Say something like "I thought you might like to have a chat. What have you been up to today?" Or "Do have any plans for the week?" That usually gets people talking. Be open and confident, the reason you're calling is to make someone feel a little less alone and it's a real act of kindness, so don't be shy!
Topics/questions to start off with:
The weather! (It might seem a bit naff but it really can be a good start to a conversation, everyone has an opinion on the weather!)
Where they live, if they like it there and how long they've lived there (and the same goes for you too!)
Where you/they grew up
What they do/did for a living
What they've been watching on the TV / what they do for fun
Family (family can sometimes be a tricky subject for people to talk about so it's often better to wait for the person you're speaking to to bring that up. If you're both comfortable talking about your family and home life then go for it.)
Some people are listeners rather than talkers, so don't feel bad if you end up talking about yourself a bit. It's a two-way street so the person you're calling will surely appreciate you opening up, and it often is a great way to make someone else feel like they can do the same.
TOP TIP: don't be afraid of pauses or silences! It often takes a little time for someone to open up. But when they do, let them do lots of the talking.
If things get emotional:
The person you're calling might be feeling a bit low. When people get upset on the phone there's often not much you can actually say to make them feel better. Listening is key. Independent Age have some really useful tips on how to navigate an emotional phone call...
Let them cry. They are sharing a vulnerable moment with you, allow them to express what needs to be expressed without telling them how to feel. Avoid telling them to stop crying or that whatever they are crying about isnāt worth their tears. Emotions when vented are better than if they are stored inside
Donāt jump to creating solutions. If the person is crying and upset about a situation, donāt try to immediately solve the problem for them. Itās more important for you to do less talking and more listening. Their crying is a way to express their emotions. Let them do so without interfering.
Donāt try to turn the conversation instantly positive. Itās a natural tendency to want to help the person feel better by having them look at the positive side. However, when you do that, they may feel like you are glossing over whatās wrong and they may feel like their feelings arenāt important.
Ask what they need. Donāt assume you know what they want. Asking what they want and need puts the other person in control and gives you the opportunity to listen and respond. Whatever they ask for or need, respect what they say.
Acknowledge your helplessness: For example, you could say, āIām so sorry youāre going through this. I donāt really know what to say to make it better, and I know no words really could. But I want you to know that Iām here for you when you need meā.
If the person you're speaking to does get upset, remember it's likely not because of you. These things happen and a lot of people are feeling the effects of a very tough year. We want you to know that you're awesome and it takes a lot of strength to be a great volunteer.
That said, most first phone calls are wonderful and we can't wait to hear about the new friends you make!
We hope this gave you some tips and eased your nerves about your phone call mission. As always we love any feedback you can give us! So if you have any suggestions for any other tips from your own experience then just let us know.