In a 12 step program, a sponsor is a more experienced member who supports you through your recovery journey. They guide you through the 12-Step program, share personal experiences, and provide accountability and encouragement. Think of a sponsor as a mentor and ally who’s been where you are and can help you navigate the path ahead.
Where to Find a Sponsor
1. Face-to-Face Meetings
Meeting in person allows you to build trust and connection.
Many members find their sponsor by simply asking someone they respect in the room.
2. On Sober Sidekick
Post in the Sober Sidekick forum letting members know you’re looking for a sponsor.
Join a Sober Sidekick meeting (available upon request) and ask someone if they’d be willing to sponsor you.
3. Online AA Meetings
Virtual meetings can also be a good way to find a sponsor.
Check out the Online Intergroup of Alcoholics Anonymous to locate virtual meetings and learn about sponsorship opportunities.
Things to Look for When Choosing a Sponsor
Solid Sobriety
Has a consistent track record of sobriety (usually 1 year or more).
Practices the program daily, living it—not just talking about it.
Availability
Willing to take your calls, texts, or meet when you’re struggling.
Has time and energy to support you.
Experience With the Steps
Has personally worked through the 12 Steps.
Can guide you effectively through each step.
Honesty & Directness
Will tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear.
Holds you accountable without judgment.
Good Listener
Lets you share openly without interrupting or dominating.
Balances listening with guidance.
Same Gender (Usually)
Often recommended to choose a sponsor of the same gender or someone you won’t be romantically attracted to.
Helps avoid complicated dynamics.
Consistency
Shows up regularly at meetings.
Practices what they preach—reliable, not flaky.
Respect & Safety
Makes you feel comfortable sharing personal struggles.
Respects boundaries and does not pressure or control you.
Encouragement, Not Control
Guides you without dictating your every move.
Supports your personal growth, not trying to “fix” you.
Hope & Inspiration
Their life and sobriety inspire you.
You think, “I’d like to have that kind of peace and stability.”
Bottom Line
Choose a sponsor who walks the walk, not just talks the talk. Someone who lives recovery, encourages growth, and supports you through challenges will make a lasting difference in your journey.
Legal Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only. It is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any questions about treatment, addiction, or mental health. Sober Sidekick does not provide medical or psychological services.